Masks
by Tweeter
Summary: ONESHOT: Halloween silliness. See Author's Notes for further explanation.


_Disclaimer_: Not mine, not making money, please don't sue... you know the drill.

A/N: This is a oneshot. I'm going through terrible writing block and ResearchGeek gave me an assignment. It was supposed to be two paragraphs, but I'm long winded. Thanks to Rinne for the speedy beta. Hopefully I'll be able to get working on the longer story I've been trying to write. The research is hard! So again, thanks to ResearchGeek for poking my little brain (and thanks for the line) and Rinne for not laughing at my inconsistent dialogue punctuation gaffes. Oh wait, she _does_ laugh, but she patiently corrects the mistakes.

**Masks by Tweeter**

Halloween: one of Abby's favorite holidays. She always dressed up, even if it fell on a workday. This year her costume was going to surprise everyone, she was sure Tony would love it and Timmy, well, Timmy would go back to stammering. He'd stopped doing that the more confident he became in his abilities, but when it came to women, Abby in particular, he could easily revert to the blushing probie he once was.

Bouncing around her lab, music blaring, she waited. Tony had just called asking about the results of the Freeman toxicology tests and he was on his way down. The doors swished open, but nothing happened. Turning, she saw Tony and McGee standing in the doorway, mouths open, eyes wide.

"Hello boys," she purred seductively. "Come on in, the water's perfect."

Tony shook his head to clear it and smiled appreciatively at the sight. He would never leer at Abby; she was the little sister he never had, someone who always laughed at his jokes and offered him a shoulder to cry on.

"Abs, you've outdone yourself," he said, his eyes sweeping up and down, "you look amazing."

"Why thank you, Tony," Abby replied. She turned to McGee, who still hadn't said anything and gently closed his mouth. "Be careful Timmy, you'll catch flies that way."

"McGee's probably never been in the presence of such beauty and poise," Tony said, putting his arm around the younger agent's shoulders and shaking him a little. "Come on, speak up, Probie, tell the lady how beautiful she looks."

"You look beautiful," McGee stammered.

"Original, McGee," chided Tony, shaking his head.

"Thank you, Timmy," Abby said, kissing him on the cheek.

"Hey," Tony protested, "I didn't get a kiss," prompting Abby to kiss him on the cheek too.

"Why aren't you two dressed up?" Abby asked.

"Are you kidding? Gibbs would kill us," replied Tony. "You're the only one who can get away with something like that around here."

McGee nodded, his eyes never leaving Abby.

"I guess," agreed Abby. "I'd just like to see what you'd dress up as; get a look into your psyche, the inner little boy."

"We see Tony's all the time," said Ziva, entering the lab. "Abby, you look beautiful. Marilyn Monroe, yes? From The Seven Year Itch?"

"Ziva David," Tony said in surprise, "you know that movie?"

"Yes, I know it," Ziva said. "Marilyn Monroe, Tom Ewell, 1955…"

"Directed by Billy Wilder," Tony finished. "I think I have a newfound respect for you."

"You mean with everything else I can do, speak 5 languages, interrogate hardened terrorists, throw a knife…" Ziva replied.

"Leap tall buildings in a single bound," muttered Abby under her breath.

Ziva continued, ignored Abby, "You finally respect me for knowing an old movie?"

"We all have our special kinks," Tony said, smiling knowingly.

"I'm surprised you didn't come in here dressed in a Hawaiian shirt," Ziva said.

"I would never try to emulate the great Thomas Magnum," Tony replied indignantly. "The man is a legend, I couldn't do him justice."

"That's for sure," Ziva rolled her eyes. "What's wrong with McGee?"

"He's smitten, overwhelmed, entranced by the beauty that is our Abby," Tony said, patting McGee on the back. "We may need to take him to the hospital for resuscitation."

"What _would_ you dress up as, Tony?" asked Abby.

"Steve McQueen?" replied Ziva.

Tony shook his head. "Ah, Ziva, you know so little about me."

"I know, a jock," exclaimed Ziva.

_Ohio State University - 12 years ago_

_"Hey, DiNozzo," a voice bellowed from across the room, "what are you supposed to be, a pansy?"_

_The person in question stood up, straightening his six foot two frame proudly. He brushed the lapels of his tweed jacket, checked the elbow patches and straightened his tie. "I," he said loudly, "am an English professor."_

_Roger Stanhaus snorted. "Perfect, DiNozzo, you're a character from Bizarro world."_

_"Oh beware my lord, of jealousy," replied Tony. "It is the green eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on."_

_Stanhaus gave him a wary look. "What?"_

_"You're just jealous I can pull of a totally different look, Stanny," Tony explained._

_"Yeah, right," Stanhaus retorted, "you keep thinking that. You can't fool anyone, you're a Phys Ed major, DiNozzo." He shook his head and turned his attention to the young woman next to him._

_"I think you look very dashing."_

_Tony looked down to see Amy Wilderman, a petite cheerleader who had been trying to get his attention for weeks._

_"Why thank you, fair lady," he bowed slightly. "Would you care to join me for a little refreshment?"_

_Amy giggled. "Of course, kind sir." She took the arm he proffered, and followed him to the keg of beer sitting in a tub of ice on the back deck. Tony handed her a large plastic cup of beer, even though she looked as if she had had more than enough to drink that night, and took one for himself._

_"Why'd you choose this for a costume?" Amy asked._

_Tony shrugged. "I found the jacket in a second-hand store. I thought I'd try to pass myself off as an intellectual, take on another identity." He grabbed Amy's elbow as she swayed dangerously close to the edge of the deck._

_Amy nodded. "I know what you mean," she said solemnly, "sometimes I just want to run away from everything and pretend I'm someone else."_

_Tony looked at her curiously. "You do? Why?"_

_She shrugged. "I don't know, there's so much pressure, you know? Especially from my folks."_

_"Ahh," Tony nodded, "I know exactly what you mean."_

_"I mean, they want to run my life," she continued, waving her hands and spilling her beer. "They keep telling me what to do, what to study, what I should do after I graduate."_

_"Follow in their footsteps?" Tony knew that Amy's parents were doctors, her mother a famous neurosurgeon and her father one of the top cardiac surgeons in the country._

_Amy shook her head. "Not really," she huffed. "They just want me to get a degree in something that will help me in the 'real world'." She mimed air quotes. "I just want to marry a rich man and have babies." _

_Amy took Tony's arm and looked up into his face with what she hoped was a seductive smile, but her red-rimmed eyes made her look sadly pathetic._

_"That's a noble cause," he said, patting her hand and leading her back into the house. "I'm sure you'll find someone."_

_"What about you, Tony?" she snuggled closer to him. "I think we'd make beautiful babies, don't you?"_

_"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind," Tony said, smiling, causing her to frown in confusion._

_"I have to go, Amy," he said, guiding her gently to a sofa. "I'll see you later."_

"You're right, Ziva," Tony said, smiling, "you know how a letterman jacket affects the women."

Ziva snorted. "You're such a pig."

"He is not," Abby said indignantly, "he just likes people to think that."

Tony laughed. "That was our little secret, Abs," he said accusingly, winking at the lab technician.

Ziva shook her head. "Whatever, Tony. Abby, Gibbs is looking for those toxicology reports, he sent me to come after Tony and McGee. I think he's going to have a bull."

"Cow," corrected Abby, Tony and McGee.

"If you guys don't get back to work, you'll be dressed as out of work Federal Agents," growled Gibbs.

"On it, Boss." "Right here, Bossman."

"Did you see Abby's costume?" McGee's voice cracked.


End file.
